My conversion
story is more of a RE-version story. I was born a “cradle” Catholic in a small town in upstate
New York. My parents, sisters, brother and I faithfully attended our local Parish, St. Vincent de Paul
in Attica, NY. I went to the local Catholic Elementary School until the 6th grade.
I was an altar boy until the 8th grade. I felt a genuine closeness to our Lord in my youth.
While
in Second grade, I remember praying fervently at daily mass one morning. Our class regularly went to Mass
on Fridays. My teacher was Sister John Maron. She was a strict but holy woman.
During this Mass, I recall begging God with all my strength to help my father give up drinking. I
was taught that if we prayed hard enough, God would answer our prayers. At the age of 7, I was confidant
I had found a solution for our family’s biggest problem. As the weeks passed, I began to realize
that my prayers were not being “answered.”
After this set back, my doubts concerning the existence of
God increased on account of contact with secular television, teachers, friends and the American way of materialism and selfishness.
By the time I was in high school, I was convinced there was no God and religion was for the weak and down trodden.
My 9th grade science teacher put down the Biblical history of the world by comparing the scientific evidence
we have that accurately measured the age of the earth at 4 billion years. He said the Bible was false since
it says the earth is 6,000 years old. I believed him.
I put up a good front
to please my holy mother, Bonnie. I went to Church during my teen years and even received Confirmation
in the 11th grade, while vowing to never darken the doors of a Church again once I left Attica.
I intentionally
went to college out of state to escape the naïve world of my youth. I plunged right into
the world of partying and sin. I engorged myself on physical pleasures and increased in pride and arrogance.
Somehow I got into Medical School and continued the life of misconduct. In my last year of med-school,
a friend told me I was a real nice guy but seemed very empty. She
handed me the book, Mere Christianity, by CS Lewis.
This book hit me right between the eyes. I
read it once and became a little nervous. Upon the second and third time I found myself sitting on the
floor in despair and disgust at my arrogance and sin. Mr. Lewis broke down the atheist arguments completely
and proves without a doubt the existence of a good and loving God. He
further shows how logical and perfect is the story of Jesus Christ. Of all the religions, Christianity
contains the most truth. Boy did I have some humble pie to eat. For 15 years I thought
I knew it all. Of course all my bad habits did not end immediately. Conversion is a
lifetime experience.
Through it all I would
say my life has been blessed. The Novel I have written copies many parts of my own life. Angel,
the sickly woman, of course mimicks my Mother, Bonnie. My wonderful Mother prayed nonstop for me and all
her children. Her prayers helped me find Jesus again. I think of her example on a daily
basis.
I now believe that God did
answer my prayer in second grade.
He said in the most beautiful way, “Tommy, I want you
to learn to love your Dad the way he is. I want you to learn to love all people for who they are.”
My Dad
passed away when I was 29. His last few years were good ones for he and I. Our conversations
were pleasant. He faithfully wrote to me and called on the telephone. One time I received
a final grade of “D” in Biochemistry in Medical School. I was devastated. I
was in danger of having to repeat my first year.
Dad said, “How tall is the shortest guy in the NBA?”
I said, "I don't know, maybe 6 feet 2 inches?"
“Right, and no one would dare call him short.
Just because you are bringing up the rear in Medical School, doesn’t mean anything. At
least you passed. You will still be a great doctor.”
Thanks Dad.
Thanks for everything. I love you very much, just the way you are.
